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Joke of the Day
"Some people think vomiting is hard... but I got threw it with flying colors."
Next Joke
"When I'm on a date, ... I like to tell the girl that ""I'm available for a limited time only* In hopes that her shopping instincts will kick in."
"How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only two. One person holds the bulb and the other blonde twirls the other blonde around."
"Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it's wide use three fingers, make sure it's wet and rub up and down. Yep that's how you wash a cup."
"Did you know Canada was initially spelled Cnd? But when they pronounced it, the word came out ""C-eh"" ""N-eh"" ""D-eh"""
"A company in India is releasing the first-ever ""smart shoe"" that connects with Google Maps to track your footsteps. ""Merry Christmas,"" said your wife."
"""8. I have 8 condoms full of hummus taped to my person right now. Anyway, enough about me, can I get you folks started with an appetizer?"""
"[at interview] ""ok 1st question you're on a submarine you find a dog, what do you call him"" umm ""..."" subwoofer? ""welcome to the navy seals"""
"Go into the confessional today and see how long it takes the priest to realize you're describing Batman's life."
"How does a crazy person get out of the woods? They take the psychopath."