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Joke of the Day

"WIFE: Dave's here HUSBAND: Dave from work or Dave who always wears scarves? ME: [from downstairs] I got caught in the ceiling fan again!"

"What's the worst part about eating 69 oysters out of your grandma? Finding out she already posted this joke on Reddit."

"An unfortunate blind date. that's the last blind date I go on. She turned up. hit me with her cane then her dog bit me. It was like she couldn't even see."

"What's better than roses on a piano Tulips on an organ."

"I met a guy who said he was a test tube baby. I said, groovy, daddy-o."

"My waterslide technique has been described as 'oafish', 'dangerous' and 'how did you get into the penguin enclosure'."

"You're like school in the summer... No class."

"Why do boys walk fast and girls speak more? Because boys have one extra leg and girls have one extra mouth."

"Hillary Clinton is elected President. JK."

"Saw a billboard that said: Don't be distracted by driving and texting. Next one said: Don't be distracted by driving and reading billboards."