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Joke of the Day

"heard on The View this morning (courtesy of Fozzie Bear) What do you get when you cross the Atlantic Ocean with the Titanic?......Half-way."

"The only downside of kissing a 10 is How cold your lips get from kissing the mirror..."

"What do you call a Jewish Pokemon Trainer? Ash."

"What do you call an undercover cop? A pig in a blanket."

"A drum set falls out of a tree. Ba-dum-tis"

"Why do cicadas stay up all night chirping irregularly, unable to sleep? Their cicadan rhythm is off"

"Tattooing bullet holes where I had a stomach ache so I never forget what I've been through."

"Watching a Sarah McLachlan concert on TV on a Saturday night. It's funny, this wasn't on my bucket list yet I feel so close to actual death."

"[I am wearing a wedding gown at work] BOSS: Do you have a minute to chat in my office? ME: [lifting veil] I do"

"What is the difference between Santa and the Jews? Santa goes down the chimney."