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Joke of the Day

"*hot girl puts a cherry stem in her mouth* *twists it around with her tongue* *pulls it out* *it spells ""I LIKE YOU AS A FRIEND""*"

"TIFU by spraying water on a topless model Now all the seats are wet"

"With Zyan Malik leaving 1D.. *zyan malik or whatever leaves 1d. *Kayne West gets in. *kicks everyone out of the band. *there's room for only 1 direction homie. *it's West."

"What's the difference between a Garbanzo Bean and a Chickpea? (NSFW ish) I wouldn't let a Garbanzo Bean on my face."

"What's the difference between a doctor and God? God doesn't walk around thinking he's a doctor."

"How many pornstars does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don't know... I skipped the intro."

"I used to have a fear for speed bumps... But I'm slowly getting over it. Edit: Why is this flaired as dirty?"

"Who are worse than Hitler, Stalin and Mao combined? The mods of this subreddit."

"[wife calls] did you write ""make all the traps from home alone"" on the calendar [me at hardware store holding paint cans and feathers] ""no"""

"The police are taking me downtown for an interview and I didn't even apply for the job."