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Joke of the Day

"[On phone] ""Did u see the weather forecast?"" ""No. I refuse to be sucked in by Big Weather."" ""Where are you? Its so noisy."" ""IN A TORNADO."""

"My girlfriend left a note on the fridge ""This is not working I'm going to my mum's house."" So, I opened the fridge's door, the light came on and the juice was cold. - What the hell did she mean?"

"My girlfriend doesn't believe in sex before marriage. So I showed .... My girlfriend doesn't believe in sex before marriage. So I showed her some of my old home movies to prove it was real."

"Why does the Indian chief hate snow? It's White and all over his land."

"What do you call am alligator in a vest? An illogical situation imagined by a child."

"Police Officer: ""Turn around!"" Me: *sings* ""Every every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never coming round..."""

"What would she do for $20? Wasn't there a joke before posted about asking what a girl would do for $20 or something? A dirty joke? I'm trying to find it but I can't...."

"I probably should've said, ""Congrats on your 4th child!"" instead of ""Halfway there, OctoMom""."

"but how do I know if a guy hates me FOR ME"

"Why did the dead baby cross the road Because I kicked it. Bonus wife is giving birth right now."