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Joke of the Day

"Just tell me which one is wrong, the password or the username!! Don't make me have to guess."

"What's the trick to satisfying your wife or girlfriend with only 3.5 inches? Visa or Mastercard?"

"A friend of mine told me that sex after a vasectomy would hurt. But to be honest I haven't noticed a vas deferens."

"Why can't you hear the bass on Metallica's And Justice For All album? Because they threw the bass player under the bus."

"Me: he's cute, how old is he? Guy: 25 months Me: first kid? Guy: yeah, how'd you know? Me: because you didn't say ""he's 2"""

"Nick Kroll and Amy Poehler are moving to France to start a family... They want a house full of French Krollers."

"My mate borrowed 20 grand for plastic surgery. Now I don't know what he looks like."

"Had a rabbit that would come by every morning. I'd leave a bit of food for him. But he stopped coming one day. Now he's just some bunny that I used to know."

"The next time someone describes me as feisty, I'm going to stand in front of them and air punch rapidly like Scrappy Doo."

"Have you heard the me neither joke? Me neither."