162226
Joke of the Day
"Vegetarians must hate themselves because they're made of meat."
Next Joke
"It's fun to watch a waitress flirt with my husband for an entire meal, then see that look of betrayal as I take the check from her hand."
"HR called me in today and told me I have a bad attitude. So they're transferring me over to IT and giving me a raise."
"We went camping at Yellowstone National Park on a moonless night. It was in tents."
"I knew she'd come crawling to me.. I mean, I DID steal her wheelchair"
"How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They rearranged the furniture in the room"
"Kim Jong il is dead? I guess that's the end of HIS Korea."
"I always cry at weddings, but only because being that close to large cakes makes me so happy."
"Guy: Can I buy you a drink? Girl: Sorry, but alcohol is bad for my legs. Guy: Do they swell? Girl: No. They spread"
"My wife says I've left the toilet seat up ""like a bajillion times"" but I'm contacting Jill Stein to demand a recount."