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Joke of the Day

"Yo mama is so fat that when she went bunggie jumping in a yellow dress everyone was screaming the suns falling!"

"Why do Mexicans like spicy food? It induces labor."

"Just broke my very own personal record of most consecutive days without dying."

"What do you call a radioactive Angler? Nuclear fishin'"

"If I was antisocial I wouldn't have just ordered a pizza over the phone."

"It sucks being a dick. Your best friend is a pussy, and your closest friend is an asshole.*a real asshole*"

"What do you get when you breed a rabbit with an elephant? A dead rabbit with a beat-up asshole."

"Did you hear about the chocolate bar burglar?! The police are trying to catch him, but he's always got a few Twix up his sleeve!"

"What would the war be called if Donald Trump started war on the Mexicans? World war Juan"

"I made an appointment but it was cancelled. It was ... disappointing."