161972

Joke of the Day

"What did Wendy do when she first saw Captain Hook? She Peedherpants"

"The block button is just the adult version of sticking your fingers in your ears and repeating ""I can't hear you"" over and over"

"When ever I make Eggs Benedict, I always serve it on a hubcap. Cause there's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise."

"Co-Worker: Can I get a quick word? Me: Velocity. Co-Worker: ..."

"I won't help a customer with their problem until they've been completely dehumanized."

"What device does Mario use to communicate with the dead? A Lou-ouija board."

"Hubby: This dinner is not gonna make itself!!!!! And that ladies and Gentleman is how I starred on ""COPS"""

"People act surprised when I tell them my grandfather survived the holocaust. Most of the guards survived didn't they?"

"30% of Republican primary voters nationally say they support bombing Agrabah. Agrabah is the country from Aladdin. #NotTheOnion"

"Procrastination is a dish best served eventually."