161950

Joke of the Day

"(Xpost: showerthoughts) Knock-knock jokes should win the No-Bell Prize"

"""Sir, we're mining too many useless minerals!"" Hitler: ""Mine fewer then"" Reddit: ""I did **not see** that coming"" EDIT: Shit, I didn't get that Reich at all"

"Son: ""Dad, can we talk about the sex with my girlfriend?"" Dad: ""Sure. What's up, buddy?"" Son: ""Could you please stop doing it?"""

"Darth Vader: ""Listen Luke, this is a new arrangement for both of us. Let's not force things. Just let me know if you need a hand."""

"What's the difference between Japanese people and their food? Americans eat the food after they nuke it."

"What did Uranium-238 say to Helium when they first met? IDK"

"Why is Jesus bad at crossword puzzles? He always gets stuck on 2 Across."

"What is the car that everyone sleeps in? The Ford Siesta Many thanks to /u/ekhappychap for that one."

"*Jesus, bursting out of a chest cavity, spraying the room with blood and viscera* ""My God, Johnny? DID YOU LET CHRIST INTO YOUR HEART?!?"""

"How does a Muslim find a goat in tall grass? Sexier when his child bride is holding it."