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Joke of the Day

"What does Michael J Fox do when his son parks in his space? He Park in son's space"

"You'd think that people who kept their head warm would tend to be healthier... but as it turns out, people who wear turbans are actually more likely to be Sikh"

"Don't believe in aliens, huh? Explain how people in the 1800s got on top of those bicycles with the huge front wheels."

"If you're a Mormon, and you have a mom, and you haven't been referring to her exclusively as Mitt Momney...then why the hell are you Mormon?"

"What are the 4 dirtiest streets in Philadelphia? Turner, Front, Mascher, Cherry"

"Helium walks into a bar... ...and the bartender says to him, ""We don't serve Noble gasses here!"". Helium... doesn't react."

"1. Religion. 2. ? \3. Prophet."

"A little bit of me dies every time I see one of you post a quote that you obviously don't actually live by."

"[at a bar] *sees hot chick check me out* *writes note on napkin and asks bartender to give to her* *she reads note* ""STOP STARING IT'S RUDE"""

"Pro Tip: Make sure you wear your Fitbit on your dominant hand so you get credit every time you lift an ice cream cone to your mouth."