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Joke of the Day

"What do Hillary Clinton and OJ Simpson have in common? They got away with it."

"My bologna has a first name, and a second name, and a fake name, and a sexy nickname, and exactly none of them are your business so go away."

"Someone asked me, ""What's the difference the testes and the penis?"" I said, ""Well, there's a vas deferens between them."""

"What do you call a slutty housewife? A dirty dishwasher."

"Doctor: Your son is lactose intolerant Me: Oh my god [later that day] Me [runs into field and punches a cow]: That's for inventing milk"

"My house is full of Valentines cards. I'm not a legend though Just a lazy postman"

"What goes ""snap crackle and pop"" ? A firefly with a short circuit !"

"I steal candy bars using slight of hand... You could say I have a few Twix up my sleeve"

"Did you hear they found a dead ice cream vendor covered in sprinkles? Police are saying he topped himself."

"Phew, don't have to think of a catchy title today Why is Monica so exited for the next Clinton presidency? This time she won't have to swallow."