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Joke of the Day

"An American doctor who contracted Ebola is said to be getting better. The bad news is he's getting better at contracting the Ebola virus."

"Why are storm troopers so clingy? Cause no matter where you're at they'll always miss you."

"New Year's Resolution- Date more models... Edit: Date more Edit: Date again LAST Edit: Stop crying while masturbating"

"ME: all the King's horses and men couldn't put u back together HUMPTY DUMPTY: what now M: [opening package of bacon] I'll think of something"

"I got a tattoo on my penis that just says ""OK"" But when I see your sister it says ""OKLAHOMA STATE UNIVERSITY"""

"What do you call a transparent robot? See-through P0"

"Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble."

"Mountains aren't just funny. They're hill areas."

"My therapist says I'm narcissistic. How can someone who's perfect be narcissistic?"

"My 12 yr. old girl is having a sleepover tonight. She told me, ""DO NOT EMBARRASS ME!"" I'm considering twerking to Ace of Base later."