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Joke of the Day

"My barber asked me to stop singing Wonderwall I said maybe You're gonna be the one that shaves me (shaves me)"

"Why don't you ever watch old people have sex? You ever spread open a grilled cheese?"

"Why did Microsoft jump from Windows 8 to Windows 10? Because Windows 7, 8 9....."

"Did you hear about the man in the electric chair who asked the executioner to reverse the charges ?"

"What's the difference between a podiatrist and a drummer? The podiatrist bucks up your feet."

"TIL Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto translates you to ""Thank You Mr. Robot"" The Spanish translation is Muchos Gracias Marco Rubio"

"Knock Knock St. Patricks Day edition. Knock knock. Who's there? Irish. Irish who? Irish you would open the door I'm freezing out here!"

"How many Freudians does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to change the lightbulb and one to hold the penis [cough], father [ah], ladder"

"I blame movies for giving me unrealistic expectations about how long I can look away from the road while driving."

"Did you hear about the new emo website? www.emo.com/wrists"