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Joke of the Day

"Warning: password is case sensitive. password i think ur case is cute dont woorry so much"

"[at bar] ""Yeah I pulled down a solid 6 figs last year."" Whoa that's impressive! ""I know, right! Can't believe I got fired by that fig farm."""

"I'm amazed football players don't fumble on literally every play. One time I tripped on a curb and both of my shoes fell off."

"The biggest lie ""I have read the terms and conditions"""

"I heard you guys like nooses..... We should hang together!!"

"Girls can be so ungrateful, I made her breakfast in bed, & instead of saying ""Thank You"", she's all like ""How did you get into my house!"""

"Hillary Clinton logs onto her email server [deleted]"

"At the pharmacist A guy goes to a pharmacist and asks for a dozen condoms. The druggist asked "" Would you like a paper bag?"" The guy shakes his head and says ""Nah, she ain't that ugly."""

"What do you call a snake that works for the government? ~~A civil serpent~~ Senator."

"Where do fish wash ? In a river basin !"