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Joke of the Day

"Q. ""Why does the Navy put Marines on board ships?"" A. ""Because sheep would be too obvious"""

"Me: There has to be a way I can lose weight! Friend: Eat healthy? Exercise? Me: No, that's not it. Keep thinking! We'll figure this out."

"KNOCK KNOCK... POLICE.... POLICE WHO? Well I won't fall for that one again..."

"What's a difference between a oral and a rectal thermometer? The taste"

"Did you hear about the guy whose left arm and left leg got chopped off? He died."

"Sorry; I didn't get your message because I deleted it without listening."

"What does a nine-volt battery and a woman's asshole have in common? Eventually, you're going to put your tongue on both."

"What's a Canadian Anarchist's favorite shape? A circle, eh."

"How Do You Make a Gay Fuck a Woman Shit in her cunt."

"What's a barber's favourite kind of holiday? Cruising on a clipper."