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Joke of the Day

"When I was young, my mom's sister used to bake me cakes with lots of icing and cream. She was a fond aunt."

"San Diego Comic Con and Dragoncon are going to pull their resources and merge into one event. But it was called off because no one was happy with the con fusion."

"Hello everyone. How are we? ...was the capital of Wodesia"

"Absolutely no one can text faster than a pissed off woman."

"The good thing about being tall is, you can't get lost in a crowd. The bad thing is, you can't get lost in a crowd."

"What can you find between the toes of the African elephant? Slow Africans."

"Did you hear about the porno at the campground? It was fucking in tents."

"My girlfriend said I should be louder in the bedroom. But apparently she didn't give me permission to snore."

"What did the Office of Admissions say to the recently-accepted Urology student? ""Ur-ine!"""

"What's 9 and a half inches long and satisfies all c*nts? An iPad."