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Joke of the Day
"What do you say when God sneezes? Go bless yourself."
Next Joke
"[NSFW] Yesterday I gave a surprise bukkake party to my roommate... ...everyone came. You should have seen her face."
"What did the daddy salt say to his son? ""Stop cracking your NaCles."""
"What do you call a Dothraki mathematician? Khal-culator."
"Being married is like playing cards If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand."
"11:30 - Sit on toilet, open Twitter. 11:54 - Try to stand, fall to floor with numb legs. 11:55 - Get comfortable on floor, open Twitter."
"My girlfriend keeps telling me i need a job... I said ""with your hands or your mouth?"""
"My sister-in-law had a miscarriage Does that raise or lower her kill-death ratio?"
"I want to ask you out, but I've got butterflies in my stomach. And worms. And maggots. And.."
"TIL if you say ""gullible"" very slowly it'll come out sounding like ""oranges"". Gotchya!?"