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Joke of the Day

"What is Harper Lee's favorite alcoholic drink? A Tequila Mockingbird."

"What did 50cent say to his grandma when she gave him a knitted sweater for his birthday? G u knit!"

"Reality! 11:30- I will go to bed soon. 03:30- Why am i on wikipedia reading about advanced nuclear theory."

"[police raid at balloon store] Cop on radio:""We can hear gunfire is everyone ok, over"" Hedgehog cop inside:""Its not gunfire, over"""

"The only lie Republicans haven't told about Obama is he's white."

"[my dog lays down on my date's lap instead of mine] date: ""i had a good time tonight"" me: ""i think you need to leave"""

"The best part of being single is that you always get to be right."

"Jesus said to love your neighbor, but makes no mention about putting up with their music at 3am."

"I went into a hotel.. I went into a hotel when a luggage boy came and said ""I'm the 'beg'gar"""

"How does one robber ask another how they're doing? ""How are you holding up?"""