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Joke of the Day

"An ideal homework excuse Teacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: Our furnace stopped working and we had to burn it to stop ourselves from freezing"

"[horror movie in 2169] The killer creeps up behind the college co-eds and JUST STARTS THROWING GLUTEN EVERYWHERE [entire audience faints]"

"My buddy and I started a mountaineering business 6 months ago, and things haven't been going so well. We may have peaked early."

"Someone is watching you... And his name is John Seenya!"

"What was the name of King Arthur's fattest knight? Sir Cumference. (He ate too much pi)"

"What's the difference between John Kenndy Jr. and Ted Kennedy? Ted can swim away from an accident."

"Four 6 year old girls playing quietly at 7am is called a horde of elephants having a foot race."

"*handsome, young man walks up* HYM-Ms. Me-Hold it Jr. Yes, I'm sexy. But young guys aren't my thing. HYM-You've toilet paper on your heel."

"What's al Qaeda's favorite football team? The New York Jets."

"There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand binary, and those who don't."