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Joke of the Day

"Seems like my body should have better things to do than make nipple hair."

"The Illuminati is the belief that the most powerful ppl on Earth are in a conspiracy to leave giant clues that they're part of a conspiracy."

"How do you know you're wife is too fat? You're using Google maps to find her g spot..."

"What are you gonna argue about with your family this Thanksgiving? 1. Minimum wage 2. Police reform 3. Why are there raisins in this, Louise"

"Whenever I speak to religious people about my beliefs, I receive a lot of judgement. It seems that Jesus is the only one who truly accepts me for who I am!"

"Christmas breakup: play Lexus commercial theme, when they run outside have all their crap packed for them on your driveway, lock the door."

"Girls who say ""I don't care what anyone thinks about me"" sure spend a lot of time untagging themselves out of unflattering pics on Facebook."

"So I'm balls deep in this guys ass and I go ahead and try to give him a reach-around... And he was hard.. How fucking gay is that?"

"Nigel Farage walks into a bar Convinces the patrons to set it on fire, and then leaves."

"Why did your brother give up his job in the biscuit factory? Because he went crackers."