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Joke of the Day
"Why didn't Beethoven sell his house? He put it up Fur Elise!"
Next Joke
"Humans are like ketchup on a steak People look at you funny when you eat them"
"Why do black people keep the brims of their hats flat? So birds don't shit on their lips."
"Someone keeps adding soil to my allotment overnight. It's an absolute mystery as to why though. The plot thickens..."
"twitter getting rid of the 140-character limit is a bad idea. the ability to say what you need to say in as few words as possible is (1/533)"
"What do they say about Podiatrists? It's a really big feet to become one. ^Hehehehehe"
"Boss: ""Thanks for making me my coffee. You know what'd go well with this?"" Me: ""The antidote?"" Boss: ""No, a nice..Wait, what?"" Me: ""Nothing"""
"What is a ducks favourite drug? quack"
"What's Chris Martin's favorite drink? Apple Martini"
"What's the difference between a virtual car and a real one? You can't steal a real car a few bits at a time"