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Joke of the Day

"When Jimmy Fallon started hosting The Tonight Show, Conan called him up to offer some advice... The first thing he said was: ""Kill your enemies and see them driven before you..."""

"One time I described myself as ""laid back"" and a dictionary became sentient and told me to learn what words mean"

"What did the police officer want from the criminal store? Just ice."

"Heard a great joke at work today. Now if only I could remember it."

"*slowly releases air from a balloon during your wedding vows*"

"How did the Mathematician cure his constipation? He worked it out with a pencil."

"So three Rabbi's walk into a bar... ...and the bartender says ""get the fuck out"""

"How do you know if an Asian is depressed? All around them are familiar faces, worn out places, worn out faces."

"When other parents at the playground ask me things about my baby I say, ""I don't know. I just kidnapped her."""

"CIA DIRECTOR: if u take this deep undercover assignment, u will have to give up ur own name forever STUART GIGGLEDICK: not an issue, sir"