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Joke of the Day

"When Jimmy Fallon started hosting The Tonight Show, Conan called him up to offer some advice... The first thing he said was: ""Kill your enemies and see them driven before you..."""

"Lone Child My friend showed this joke to me and I had to post it on Reddit ""I was raised as an only child, which really annoyed my sister."""

"MTV stopped having their ""Unplugged"" specials because the shitty artists we have now can't play any instruments."

"Why did the lemon turn green? Because he had lime disease"

"My background check bounced."

"I told a joke to my Jewish friends about kosher food, but they didn't like it at all... they said it was too ham-fisted."

"Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want then, when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that."

"If you haven't woken up from a nap covered in stickers, did you even fall asleep while watching cartoons with your preschooler."

"Whenever I go for a jog and it's raining, I like to pretend that someone killed my family and I have to get strong and avenge their death."

"A Cuban, a Canadian, and a homophobic walk into a bar The bartender says, ""What'll it be, Senator Cruz?"""