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Joke of the Day

"Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want then, when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that."

"My wife and I only smoke after sex; I've had the same pack since 2003. She's up to three packs a day. Rodney Dangerfield"

"[spiders pour into room] THEYRE EVERYWHERE [group of tap dancers enter] ALRIGHT MEN THIS IS WHAT WEVE TRAINED FOR"

"It was a classic Cinderella story: I walked into strangers' houses and made women try on a shoe I found"

"Imagine how confusing it would be if Ms. Pac-Man didn't like hair bows."

"Christopher walked walks in, he sits down and says... Hey. Guy. I threw a hotdog down, the highway. The hooker, was already dead."

"I like my women like I like my Coffee.... Ground up and in the freezer"

"If a proctologist works part time at KFC.... Is it still finger licking good?"

"What do you call a Halal pie? Allah mode."

"How is a woman like a condom? The both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick."