160930

Joke of the Day

"Q: What's the differents between Bill Clinton and an elephant? A: About 20 pounds and a jogging suit."

"When I practice my saxophone I have to put the cat in the window, so my neighbours know I'm not kicking it around the living room."

"Excuse me, doctor - my husband was rushed in with violent spasms in his buttocks. Where is he?"" ""ICU baby, shaking that ass"""

"Based on the musicians who thanked him at the Grammys, I gotta say: I'm not crazy for God's taste in music."

"When you're enjoying your Chow mein.. ..but you miss your dog."

"I'm not saying Goldilocks was a piece of shit, but she broke into someone's house and just started eating their breakfast."

"How is Harrison Ford like the Reddit admins? Both should have said no to the latest update."

"The How I Met Your Mother series will end tonight & everyone is thinking the same thing...if only it were The Big Bang Theory instead."

"Autocorrect has been around for centuries, I got mine when I married my wife."

"What do you call a bunny with a crooked dick? FUCKS FUNNY"