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Joke of the Day

"I like my women like a microwave. She is hot and kills all the babies i put inside her."

"Why did the noodle hide from the other noodles? Because he was Alfredo pasta!"

"Look son, every man is nervous the first time. Just take a deep breath, walk up to her, look her in the eye and ask her for directions."

"My wife slapped me when I told her I'm buying her a puppy for Christmas. I thought she'd be excited to hear that she's getting a little husky..."

"Roses are red Violets are blue if DNA test proves you're my sister I'll stop sleeping with you."

"I went to the gym today. Just kidding, I walked down the block and yelled at the neighbor kids for screaming while I'm trying to nap."

"What do you get when you ask a proctologist for a second opinion? Two fingers."

"I've been happily married for four years out of a total of 10."

"Why do you never hear a Pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the ""p"" is silent..."

"Why was the garbage man arrested? Because he was bin laden."