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Joke of the Day

"Teacher : Billy please don't whistle while studying. Billy : Oh but I'm not studying - just whistling !"

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"My Grandma would be pissed if she found out how many times she's died so I could get out of having to go somewhere."
"I was offered a job working as medieval escort. Unfortunately, I turned it down because I would have to work fucking knights."
"Was gonna get a brain transplant I changed my mind"
"What did the native american say the first time he saw a bicycle? Wow, white folks are pretty smart. They run sitting down. *Feel free to apply the racist native american accent of your choice.*"
"I keep myself in good enough shape to outrun most women and children during emergencies."
"My Wife always asks why I make science jokes. Y*_o_* ?"
"Following someone around is typically defined as ""stalking"" At my university, it's defined as ""finding a parking space"""
"The police caught me while I was spraypainting graffiti. I tried to deny it, but the writing was already on the wall."
"Have you seen the movie ""Constipation""? Of course you haven't.. it hasn't came out yet."