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Joke of the Day

"Your inspirational tweet inspired me to block you."

"I wanted to send over an invoice to the Westboro Baptist Church using an old-fashioned method of communication, but they told me... God hates fax."

"What's the difference between a religion and a cult? Their tax exemption status."

"Justin Bieber just compared himself to Kurt Cobain. When Kurt Cobain finds out, he's totally going to kill himself."

"The Internet is the world's greatest source of things you don't really need."

"What do you call a person whose wife was the Queen, daughter is a Princess and his boss is the Emperor, but he himself is no royal? Darth Vader."

"The last stall in the bathroom at work Has a really, noisy creaky door when you open it. There's some scary shit going on in there......."

"I hope my liberal use of made-up words doesn't make you...discomfortable"

"As an actor, I find some recent commercials offensive. Actors are real people too!"

"I tried donating to the itty-bitty titty committee... But they don't really need the support"