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Joke of the Day

"Scottish Independence"

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"I already blamed 5 of my problems on Black Lives Matter, 7 on political correctness and 3 on the Ghostbusters reboot. Need more scapegoats."
"what do you get when you put a baby in a blender? nsfw an erection"
"[NSFW] Why do women have legs? Have you seen the mess snails make?"
"My wife's an experienced navigator, she gives great headings."
"If a gifted child is put up for adoption, is he a regifted child?"
"The 3 stages of man: He believes in Santa Claus. He doesn't believe in Santa Claus. He is Santa Claus."
"What do you call a Christian who comes to your door to sell you vacuum cleaners? A Jehoover's Witness"
"As a Florida resident... at least I'll have medical marijuana to treat the fucking cancer this election has given me. I won't even need a lighter, seeing as the country is already on fire."
"Report card day: The only day where double D's are a bad thing."