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Joke of the Day

"Damn apple just donated a bunch of ipads to kids in africa The only app on it was ''Where's my water''"

"Its so busy at work... I feel like a priest and all my tickets are altar boys, I need to touch them all."

"How many ears does Captain Kirk have? Three: A left ear, a right ear, and a final front ear."

"What is the difference between an Eskimo and a eunuch? One is a frigid midget with a rigid digit, the other is a massive vassal with a passive tassel (found this in Horace's Satires)"

"How do you circumcise a whale? Four skin divers"

"Husband: I called my boss ""Honey"" today. Wife: What? Why? H: He was shouting at me and telling me I was wrong, and it just slipped out."

"My doctor said I can't lift more than ten pounds... Can you help me pee?"

"Why was the topologist confident about performing a vasectomy? Because open balls are in his neighborhood"

"There's an email going around that claims to include a nude photo of Hillary Clinton Don't open it. It contains a nude photo of Hillary Clinton."

"When someone asks, ""How are you?"" I say, ""5-7-8-3"" because they don't care how I am & saying my ATM Code out loud helps me memorize it."