160489

Joke of the Day

"My dad turns 60 today. Only 9 more years until I can make the kind of jokes that'll show him what a shining beacon of disappointment I am."

"What do prison and the Caps Lock button have in common? They both turn ""o"" into an ""O""."

"I like my showers like I like my women Hot, wet and finished in 20 minutes."

"Do you want to hear a bad joke? *my life* Sorry if that was not likeable and miserable, *just like my face* Okay, I am going to stop before it gets too dark and too empty, *just like my soul.*"

"Apple are finally allowing porn on the itunes store now there's a fap for that"

"If I was the editor of a magazine, I would put gametes on the cover Because sex cells."

"how many Mexicans... How many Mexicans does it take to... Oh shit, they're already done."

"ANNOUNCEMENT: DENIM CLUB MEETING IS CANCELLED. AVERY RIPPED HIS JEAN VEST AT THE SUPERMARKET. HE'S OKAY, BUT VERY UPSET."

"Katie Price and Kerry Katona have both got books coming out this month...which could plunge the U.K. into a huge crayon shortage."

"You can't hear me! She: ""You are so deaf. You never hear me."" He: ""I heard you. I was just looking at my new watch."" She: ""Oh yeah? What kind is it?"" He: Six o'clock!"""