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Joke of the Day

"I spilled coffee all over my Macbook... ...now it won't go to sleep."

"Q: Why is the most intelligent part of your body so intelligent? A: Because it nose."

"Saying Java is good because it works on Windows, Linux and Mac OS is like saying... Anal sex is good because it works on men, women, and animals."

"I asked my Spanish friend if he knew what potassium is... He didn't. All he said was ""Que?"""

"I saw Don Draper driving a toupee across a high-wire. Another character driven piece on cable."

"Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis."

"(Neighbor, curious): What's wrong with little Timmy? (Mom, sad): He went to Jared."

"What do computers snack on? micro chips"

"If you can't say something nice, say it to your husband... he's not listening anyway."

"Today I shot a black man and his wife It was a beautiful wedding"