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Joke of the Day

"Why did the hipster wear a sweatshirt on the sweltering summer day? She wears sweatshirts before it is cool! (Cue rim shot)"

"What is the longest sentence in the English language? ""I do."""

"I love Italian jokes. They really help the day go."

"Just texted ""I still love you"" to about 50 random phone numbers."

"What kind of mane does a Chinese lion have? Lo mein."

"When a man falls off a boat, you say, ""Man overboard!"" What do you say when a woman falls off a boat? ""Full speed ahead!"""

"Why did the dolphin feel crabby? Because he ate too many crabs!"

"[OC] What do you call an orange that just sex Marma-laid"

"When someone uses the bathroom and asks about the wine cork floating in the toilet is why I don't invite people to my house."

"Drink coffee! Do stupid things faster with more energy!"