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Joke of the Day

"what am I? I'm owned by every man, though my length differs. Their wives use me after getting married Last Name"

"Why can't dinosaurs clap their hands? Because they're dead."

"""And the Oscar for Best Actress goes to.....Beyonce?"" *Kanye slowly sits down*"

"If you pee on a cop Urine trouble. (Credit to my bff)"

"I believe a lot of conflict in the Wild West... ...could have been avoided completely if cowboy architects had just made their towns big enough for everyone..."

"What do 9 out of 10 people always agree on? Gang rape What do those 9 disagree about? The order"

"What do you call a pie who made his own ears? A pioneer"

"Don't even talk to me about how badass you are until you've seen how many ketchup packets i've stolen over the years"

"What's the best thing about an extremely drunk, angry girlfriend? They don't remember when you smack the ever living shit out of them."

"A mexican and black person have a car race. They both end up going over a cliff and die. Who won the race? Society."