160148

Joke of the Day

"Sneaking up on me from behind while I'm doing dishes is a super fun way to get yourself stabbed with a steak knife"

"A radio said to the female radio... -Let's make some some baby radios! To which the female radio replied: -I can't, I am stereo"

"When Germans combine words, we get things like ""flutter mouse"" and ""river horse."" When the English do it, we get ""jorts."""

"It took police 4 days to catch the bombers..... Yet my bike is still missing"

"What's the difference...? What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are a dollar and deer nuts are just under a buck."

"Admitting you have a problem is half the battle. Convincing everyone else that they're the problem is the other half."

"What's Whitney Houston's favorite type of coordination? HAAAAAAND EYEEEEEEEEEE"

"Donald Trump has ridiculous hair, and he squints a lot. If I had his hair, I'd squint too."

"Why don't you see penguins in Britain? Because they're afraid of Wales"

"/r/jokes is like a beginner's fencing class. Lots of unwanted riposte."