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Joke of the Day

"How many ""sup dude""s does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, it's already lit fam."

"Just once in my life, I'd like to know the sweet satisfaction of finishing a tube of ChapStick."

"Maybe Michael J. Fox could get a new show where his character doesn't have Parkinson's but he's a conductor aboard a moving train."

"I am so hot my mother calls me sun."

"TIFU by getting my girlfriend's order wrong at Subway Oops, wrong sub"

"What is the only feeling that's worse than sitting on a cold toilet seat? Sitting on a warm one."

"Whats the difference between Usain bolt and Hitler? Usain bolt can finish a race. Edit: Grammar"

"What is dry on the outside filled with water and blows up buildings ? A fish tank !"

"fred flinstone (my landlord): the rent is due me: say it fred: pls no me: i'm not paying fred: *sighs* the rent is yabba dabba due me: haha"

"Learning to love yourself is important. Just don't let your wife catch you doing it."