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Joke of the Day

"I'll have a salad but on top of a burger with cheese ""So you want a cheeseburger?"" Yes but when you bring it to me say here's your salad"

"What is the best use for a wet dog?[x-post from /r/MeanJokes] Getting the smell of white people out of your house."

"A pencil sketch artists' greatest dilemma..... 2B or not 2B?"

"Bruce Willis is being chased by a pug. he jumps in a taxi and escapes. he breathes a sigh of relief. the driver turns around. it's the pug"

"People with guns, asking for your money... ...You've got to hand it to them."

"I wish my car could put its hands in its pockets and whistle when I drive by a cop."

"Did you hear about that actress that stabbed herself? Reese something? No it was with her knife"

"Catching imaginary characters ""How much time do you waste catching imaginary characters on your phone"" my father said to me as I was playing Pokemon Go. And then he left for the temple."

"What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings"

"I hope that bee enjoyed the close-up of my face because that's the last thing he ever saw. #rip"