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Joke of the Day

"What does a member of the British Royal Family say when they are reaching climax? ""I""m arriving, I'm arriving."""

"What is a necrophiliac's safe word? I'm alive."

"My mom once got drunk and stabbed me because I look like my Father... Just kidding, she shot me. But hey, the past is the past. She's sober now and I can finally walk again."

"You can learn a lot about your kids by simply turning off the TV and talking. For example I discovered that mine are really boring."

"5 years ago, I asked this beautiful woman if she would go to dinner with me. Last spring, I asked her to be my wife. Both times she said no."

"Whenever I try to make a pun-joke, nobody seems to get it.. I guess I'm bad at delivering the PUNchline.."

"I get asked all the time why I play in a gay basketball league It's because I love going up and down the hardwood."

"It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer."

"What do you call a vegetable/fruit that dies for it's religion? A Tomartyr"

"I love Italian jokes. They really help the day go."