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Joke of the Day

"Ellen Pao's husband"

"Snow is like the Jews ... Won't make you feel uncomfortable as long as you have a working furnace"

"turkey went out of the frying pan and into the fire only for Putin to put them in the oven"

"I could live in this house for a million years and still second guess which switch is for the garbage disposal every time."

"If you lend someone 20 Bucks, and never see that person again; it was probably worth it."

"What do you call a drummer who has lost one of his drumsticks? A conductor."

"What do you call a pothead that breaks up with his girlfriend? Homeless"

"Just put my phone on airline mode. That's when it delays your texts for no reason & acts like it's doing you a favor when it does send them."

"Common synonyms of unemployed. Writer, blogger, and activist."

"Why do pop artists hate shoe shopping? They have too many ft. *edit for spelling"