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Joke of the Day

"Tread lightly on the path, as we all have a journey to make. Unless you're super hungry, in which case you're allowed to mow people down."

"Women are a lot like heroin. At first you're like, ""Oh geez, this is fun"" then eventually you die."

"Chinese Food: $16.72 Gas to Get to Restaurant: $1.94 Getting Home and Realizing They Forgot One of Your Food Containers: Riceless"

"Can you get a tattoo on your penis? Yea, but it would be hard."

"How do mermaids have babies? Sea-sections"

"What did the King say to the pawn shop owner you are my pawn go fight for me but in a line no moving around."

"I bought a timeshare on a racehorse. It's a nightmare."

"What do you call an exemplary black housewife? Do'mestique"

"What's baked every day and sells itself? My sister."

"What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex? Oral sex makes your day. Anal sex makes your hole weak."