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Joke of the Day

"Do I turn left, when nothing is right? Or do I turn right, when there's nothing left?"

"I was completely offended, but then you said ""no offense,"" so now everything's cool."

"We should teach North Korea a lesson and send them James Franco."

"What's gray and comes in quarts? An elephant"

"He always finds himself lost in thought; it's unfamiliar territory."

"Policeman: Why were you speeding when I stopped you? Motorist: So I could race home to get my license and registration."

"Did you hear the theme song for new Lego Blade Runner? Everyone's a replicant!!! Everything is cool when nobody's real!"

"What do you call a bunch of phones having sex? A 4G."

"My wife and I have been happily married for two years. 1997 & 2004"

"I bet deaf people get really confused when they talk to someone who is applying hand lotion..."