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Joke of the Day

"A disciple asked, ""Master, is it okay for a monk to use emails?"" ""Yes, son,"" the guru quipped, ""as long as there are no attachments."""

"What do you call a really pompous person with high blood pressure? Hyperpretentious"

"What is a vajazzle made of? Pubic Zirconia."

"People who cheer at concerts when a musician says the name of their city are the most easily impressed people on earth."

"What did the mexican say when the 2 houses fell on him? Get off me holmes!"

"Old Mr. Rosen goes to the Doctor Doctor: Mr. Rosen, I don't know how to tell you this, but you're going to have to stop masturbating. Mr. Rosen: Why? Doctor: So I can examine you."

"What is red and hurts when you bite it? A Brick."

"Just finished the 5th book... In the 'Learning to count' trilogy"

"Bernie supporters voting for Trump isn't like drinking bleach, its like drinking castor oil... we know its going to be awful, but we have something we *really* need to get rid of."

"I'm not the man you'd hoped for or even the man you wanted me to be. Perhaps you should have just once seen in me, the man I am."