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Joke of the Day

"What was the primary role of the aristocrats during the French revolution? They put their head into it."

"If I have a rooster and you have a donkey, and your donkey bites the two feet off my rooster, what do you have? 2 feet of my cock in your ass."

"What's does Santa Clause and my wife have in common? They both come once every year."

"When are Pomeranians good at taking photographs? Only when they snap at something!"

"What did the Jewish baby say to the Rabbi? Keep the tip."

"Growing up my girlfriend was called the human calculator... but that's just because 14 year old boys would have her do handstands so they could see her boobies."

"There are so many scams on the Internet now... Send me $19.95 and I will tell you how to avoid them."

"So...Donald Trump was on The View today. I kept rewinding it and watching it trying to spot Elizabeth Hasselbeck's boner."

"It's been so long since I bought groceries, this morning I saw a c**kroach move out. ""Good luck,"" he sighed, clutching his tiny suitcases."

"What does the hipster serial killer do? Has sex with the bodies before they're cool."