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Joke of the Day

"In the 80s they used an egg in a frying pan to demonstrate a brain on drugs only because they didn't have Twitter in the 80s"

"How long do black women need to bring the garbage out? About 9 month."

"Knock-Knock, Whose There? ""Peephole salesman!"""

"I've lost more friends to Candy Crush than Crystal Meth."

"You hear about the incredulous Japanese man who didn't cry at his own father's funeral? Poor guy couldn't bereave it."

"I woke up this morning to the maid beating on my door So I finally let her out."

"I like to start every morning with a good fuck. Oh fuck...it's time to get up."

"""One man's trash is another man's treasure."" is one way to tell your kid that they're adopted."

"There's nothing sadder then the look on my dogs face after he hears something hit the floor and discovers it's only lettuce "

"Hey boobs, keep up the good work!"