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Joke of the Day
"Why are reddittors so environmentally friendly?... Because the recycle everything!"
Next Joke
"How many lawyer jokes are there? 3, and the rest are true stories."
"I am so bored in my current profession. I am thinking of becoming a bartender... ...to shake things up a bit."
"Did you hear about that golfer who sang a song every time he hit a wayward ball? They say he made a fore tune!"
"My grandma got breast cancer and is getting a mastectomy. That's certainly a weight off her chest."
"Life is always one step forward, two steps back...Then slide to the left...Slide to the right. CRISS CROSS!!!"
"Grammar Nazi. ""Sir, we are mining too many useless cores"" [Hitler rubs chin] ""So, mine less. [Grammar Nazi bursts through the door] ""MINE FEWER!"" [Hitler looks up] ""Yes, soldier?"""
"When my friends are sad, i send them a long ass paragraph, but when I'm sad, they only say ""Oh sorry"" or ""Well that sucks""."
"Life is like a box of chocolates... It goes by faster if you're fat."
"What would Matthew McConaughey eat if he were a horse? McConaugHAY"