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Joke of the Day

"This is a really good joke April fools!"

"I know it's gross, but the only time it's acceptable to shout 'I have diarrhoea' is when playing scrabble. Because it's worth a shit load of points. - Zach Galifianakis."

"Love does not hurt. Chuck Norris does."

"A physicist came knocking on my door... I gave him the No-Bell Prize."

"Dance like nobody's watching. Because nobody is. Who do you think you are, Baryshnikov? Get over yourself."

"The vet told me ""I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to put your dog down..."" ""Oh God!"" I said. ""WHY?!"" ""Because my arms are getting tired."" he said."

"First Olympic sailing result just in. GB have taken gold, Australia have taken silver and Somalia have taken the boat"

"Q.When do you kick a midget in the balls? A: When he is standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice ."

"Wise man once say... He who runs in front of car will get tired, He who runs behind car will get exhausted."

"Judging by the disproportionate size of Popeye's forearms, I'm guessing Olive Oyl didn't put out much."