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Joke of the Day

"This is a fake tweet, someone asked me to put their # in my phone so I'm pretending to add it to my contacts"

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"""For people that are hungry but would also like something to drink."" Pitch for Soup"
"Taco guy: guac costs extra Obi Wan: [wafts hand] guac is free Taco Guy: guac is free... Anakin: why'd u even pay for the taco? Obi Wan: dammit"
"a C, Eb, and a G walk into a bar... The bartender says ""sorry we don't serve minors here,"" so the Eb walks out and the C and the G have a fifth between them."
"Chuck Norris makes onions cry when he cuts them up."
"Fat joke You are so fat, your shadow died from a heart attack."
"According to Facebook, Sept. 11th is about posting as many pictures of crying bald eagles obscured by an American flag as you can."
"Got paired with a classmate for a Criminal law Project, so I guess now we're partners in crime."
"Who can shave 25 times a day and still have a beard? A barber."
"What do a hippie-chick and a hockey player have in common? Both don't shower until after 3 periods."