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Joke of the Day

"Another Old Blonde Joke A brunette yells to a blonde across a river, ""Hey! How do I get to the other side of the river?"" The blonde yells back ""You are on the other side!"""

"It's complicated having sex with hipsters. They don't like things that are ""in""."

"Dress to impress A buddy wanted to improve his relationship with his mother-in-law by ordering her a nice dress from France. Unfortunately, she woke up while he was measuring her with a ruler.."

"i thought eyelashes were meant to keep shit out of your eye but half the time theres anything in my eye its a fucking eyelash"

"I'm going to name my son Awesome... ...so whenever he sleeps with someone, they are fucking Awesome."

"What's brown and sticky? a stick"

"Why didn't the Duke of Windsor let his French servant help him tie his tie? He never does it with a four-in (foreign)-hand."

"I haven't jerked off in almost a month I guess you can say I haven't been feeling myself lately"

"Whenever I tinker with the idea of a having a relationship, I go spend a night with my married friends."

"What happens if the protesters in Egypt win? They advance to the finals against Tunisia."