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Joke of the Day

"[Dark Humor] Whats the difference between a baby and a trampoline? You take your shoes off before you step on a trampoline [Probally heard this but it's worth a shot]"

"I wanted to be a standup comedian.. they asked me to sit down."

"Who invented triathlon? black people, they go to the pool by walking, then they swim at the pool and come back with a bike"

"Knock knock... The pilot, let me in!!!!"

"What is the similarity between Disney World and a woman? They both make you wait 2 hours for a 30 second ride!"

"What do you get if you cross King Kong with a giant frog? A monster that climbs up the Empire State Building and catches aeroplanes with its tongue."

"3.14% of sailors are... -rates."

"Who is the Gorillas' favourite playwright? Eugene O'Neill - who wrote 'The Hairy Ape!'"

"(I get an amber alert for a missing child) OK its my time to shine (I get in my car and back out without looking and instantly hit the kid)"

"Me- Can I borrow a screwdriver? Neighbor- Phillips or regular? Me- Grey Goose and Tropicana"