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Joke of the Day

"When a squirrel runs on the road then turns around quickly is it because he thinks he left his little squirrel iron on?"

"What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a baseball bat and the other is just.... Well... A watermelon."

"Shout out to the dude who's followed and unfollowed approximately 25632 times this week."

"How do you get a fat chick into bed? Piece a' cake!"

"What is another difference between a circus and a whorehouse? My husband doesn't go to the circus"

"what do I get Teacher: If I cut a beefsteak in half and then cut the half in half, what do I get?Tommy: Quarters.Teacher: And then if I cut it twice again?Tommy: Hamburger."

"[CIA] -We need you to kill the leader of Russia. ""I'll be Putin a bullet in his head. Carl Marx my words!"" -Alright! Who invited PunMan?!"

"""Condoms, please."" ""Do you need a bag for that?"" ""No, she's not that ugly."""

"Why are Americas so Hung up on the constitution? It's fucking ancient."

"Wanna hear a joke? The creativity of this sub-reddit."